Thursday, February 28, 2008

Dumb ways to make money

Last night there was a hockey game in town and some joker who got called out of the crowd had his dream come true. There was a contest, and he had 25 seconds on the clock, to shoot the puck in the net a minimum 15 out of 20 times (further away for each shot).
Joker-boy apparantly is a secret NHL wannabe, because he scored the required shots on net and for his 25 seconds got himself not only a brand new 2008 vehicle, but also, (are you ready for this?)
$1,000000 !!!
That is 6 zeros people!
1 Million dollars for doing fuck-all.
How do I sign up for that? Do I need to go on unemployment insurance and play street hockey in the back of my house all day? Would that help?
Perhaps I need to go and buy a coffee at the Tim Horton's down the street. They are having a millionaire contest too. All you have to do is "Roll up the Rim to Win" ~(name of actual contest)~ You drink, you roll up the rim of your paper cup and voila, you can win the riches of your dreams.

Since when does it take no skill or effort to become rich? Oh yeah, I know, they have that skill testing question : How much is 19 + 5? Calculator included.
Seriously though. I'm really tired of people becoming rich (or famous for that matter) for nothing at all.
Let Paris Hilton lead the way!
We're enabling people every day to be lazy and reward them for it too. Damn squeegee kids at every red light with last night's dirty bathwater.
"Hey miss - want me to clean your windows ?" No you freak, step away from my car.
Clearly, I must have a stick stuck up my you know what, I know. But I hate this type of behaviour.
You know what else I hate? Giving money to young people in designer sneakers holding up signs that say:
"Homeless and hungry".
How are you homeless? Didn't you just get out of that soccer mom's van over there?
What the hell is wrong with you!
When I walk the streets of Vancouver (In a totally non-hooker type of way) I realize that we have used every excuse in the book not to work.


People have signs that say "Will work for food", but then turn up their noses at my mystery meat sandwhich.


One lady, who did in fact look homeless, had a thousand piercings in her face. It was hot outside and she was begging for money for food as well. I think someone offered her some water, but it just spilled out of all the holes and she was right back at square one.


Last weekend there was a bum with a sign that read: "Stranded here from planet Zuxlu. Need money to fix my spaceship. Please help"


Well, I did give to him.


Dude was stuck here.


Pendullum said...

Dud he was stuck... Shall follow me around today...

tweetey30 said...

That last one was original you have to admit. But one thing I have to admit is there isnt anythign like that here really that I have noticed. the homeless have our shelter and such. But those that dont have it are SOL...

Eileen said...

I love your posts, I really do. They always make me laugh.
On my way to work every morning, there are some homeless dudes. One guy is always at the corner where my building is. At the end of the month (when he gets his Soc. Assistance) he's always stoned. I see him often picking through the butt container outside our building. He sits there with a paper cup for his money. I never give him money. Funny enough, he has never asked me. I must have a 'look' that tells him not to ask. I love what one woman once said when someone asked her for an extra smoke: 'there are no extras, I plan to smoke them all'. That's my attitude. I'm thinking that if I can get a job and go there every day, then anyone can.
Homeless person:'Excuse me, spare a dime?'
Me: I'm a single mother who rents, recovering alcoholic, work for peanuts, can barely make ends meet. Get almost nothing from my ex.' Sure, I'll give you all my money...NOT!
In closing, I have the same attitude as you have. Get off your lazy butt and get a job. Especially the young ones.
I'm done now.

Sayre said...

I was approached at a drug store for gas money. I gave it to him - because a) I can relate to not being able to afford gas, and b) it felt right. In fact, as soon as I gave him enough to cover one whole gallon, he left.

I'd have helped out the alien too. It's no fun being stuck on a planet you're not from...

That girl said...

Pendullum - I hope not in a creepy way ;-)

Tweets - I do like the original ones.

Eileen - I laughed out loud at the part about the extra smoke. So true and so funny. And what you said about being a single mom, renting, getting nothin' from the ex...again, sooo true. (making a mental note here for next time someone asks me)

Sayre - that actually has happened to me. I put gas in my car, and then discovered I left my wallet at home. A nice lady bailed me out, and didn't want to wait for me to return with the money. I guess to someone else, you were that nice lady at the gas station :-)

Ann(ie) said...

AMEN. Seattle is the worst. Sometimes I'm a sucker. Other times they have a little dog with them and my heart melts. Sometimes they're old and it makes me sad. But, the young, able bodied kids that need 'bus money' to get home ... give me a stinkin break.

Mamacita Chilena said...

I am actually more prone to giving money to the bums that straight up say, Can I have a few pesos so I can buy a beer? I believe them over the bullshitters who sit here underneath a blanket pretending they have no legs.

And no, I'm not being cruel, that's a pretty normal thing here in Chile, homeless people "faking" it because they make more money begging than they would if they get a real job.

That girl said...

Annie - yup. when something tugs at your heart, it's hard not to give.

CM - I believe all our societies are like that. Not just here,not just there. It's actually quite sad that we, as people, have become so hardend that we can walk by without helping someone. But, it's only because so many people out there are faking it.

HamiHarri said...

I work at MEIA...some of what you say is so true...however, it is truly hard to know what is really going on in someone's life.

Mental Health issues and addictions are frightening...

My fiance and I often get into "discussions" about homelessness, addictions, "welfare" etc. We have somewhat conflicting opinions ;) Here in Victoria the social problems are is brutal. Our systems have so many flaws...but some good does come out of it.

I have a personal rule that I don't give to those asking for money. I either donate my time, or give to a food bank. My Ministry gives out crisis grants for food when warrented. Clients are told to use the local resources first...such as a food bank... If they ask the government for help and are using the crisis grants for FOOD as intended, people in BC will not starve.

Just telling it like it is said...

I hear ya!! I been on my own since I was 16 and I worked 3 jobs and only ate one time a day....People should be responcible for themselves....Life is hard...and have no simpathy...handle it business....So how is the job hunting going??? Just wondering...It will all work out for the best...I know htat you have in you...good people will win in the end!!!

That girl said...

HamiHarri - I like hearing your take on have a unique perspective. Thanks for sharing it here.

Just telling - The job hunt is now over (check previous post) Kudos to you for being so responsible at 16 years old, I love hearing stories like yours...

Queen of the Mayhem said...

GOOD LORD....this post is SO why I love you!

Your sarcasm is friend! :)

I keep trying to get rich off of acting stupid....but NO ONE will pay me! UGH!

VV said...

We ran into a guy somewhere, I think it was NY City. He had a sign that said something like, "need money so I can get drunk and go home and beat my crack head 'ho girlfriend." Or something like that with a little more content and really funny. I tossed him some change for being honest and making me laugh.

That girl said...

Queen - If only we'd find someone who would, in fact pay us, for acting stupid. Perhaps you and me could join together and pool our resources...we'd be well off in no time flat,lol. Sigh.

VV - Only in New York City will someone get away with that type of honesty. I swear, that is really funny. The fact that you donated to his cause is even more so.

Just telling it like it is said...

Oh...I'm really just a softy...glad to hear that your job hunting is over....
Having children is really hard and being responcible is not always easy..
I's blame it on my mother because that is what my sister and I always do.."just kidding" I blame my additude on PMS that usually works...
It was the fear that kept me working...and lots of friends that really cared..

Scarlett said...

Lmbfao! That was great and I'm with you on this! I get so irked when I see people like Paris Hilton! Annnyway, thanks for the laughs!

Heather in Beautiful BC said...

Oh, Michelle - you made me laugh!

I'd have given to him too, just for his creativity :)