Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Job hunting

I have been on my blog a few times, ready to write and just too exhausted to do so.
My grandpa died on Feb 12 and i've been doing family stuff. The kids were confused and I had to answer a hundred questions about death and what happens after. I wasn't properly prepared for it all, and all of a sudden I've been wondering if I should go back to church.
We'll see.
Other than that, for the past few weeks I've been job hunting. I've had 4 interviews, 2 job offers and 1 second follow up interview set up for next week as well. I'm tired. Tired of getting dressed up, of pawning my kids off to my mother's so I can go to the interviews, tired of answering 20 questions, tired of waiting and most tired of being 'on'.
You see, my lovely 6 year old pain-in-the-butt of a daughter got sick. I mean the 'so sick we have to go to the hospital' type sick. I took 2 days off work. (I called in sick) I told my boss we were at the hospital with my daughter and I had to stay with her.
Once I did return to work (Jp had to book time off as well, since I could not be taking any more days off from my work) my boss took me into the office and bluntly asked if I plan on working there any longer. It was like a ton of bricks just hit me. I said "yes" and asked why.
He said he could not accept my 2 days off as "sick days" as it was not me that was sick, it was my child. (As he so elequantly put it, he does not give sick days for someone's children) So I should've lied then I guess...
Anyway, I told him he could take from my vacation days. Bastard turned to me and said 'you need to give me notice to take vacation days'.
So after that little fiasco, I threw my hands up in the end and said "cut me some slack". But he didn't. He told me I could choose to hand in my resignation or choose to stay but "promise it won't happen again." I didn't need to think about it. I looked him straight in the eye and said
"i have 2 small children, I guarantee that it'll happen again".
I walked out of his office, shaken up and angry. I am still angry, even though it happened almost 2 weeks ago. Since then, he's talked to me again (no, not apologized, since that would mean he'd have to admit he was wrong) and said he just wanted to show me how important I was to his organization, that he needs me to run the joint and since I was gone for 2 days, that means there is no one there to take care of things.
He told me it was a good thing, and to look at it as meaning I was a valuable memeber of his team.
Well, it didn't work. I didn't take it like that. Ever since that day, I've been actively searching for new work. I've had a few interviews. Some were not enough money, some were not the hours I'm looking for, and so on. I got a great job offer at the police station down the road, but I had to turn in down because every second rotation would have been afternoon shift
(i want to be with my kids after 4pm so that didn't work for me)
I know I sound picky, and I really don't think I am being that way. I am totally going to take a pay cut , I am prepared to, but I still want it to be something that I can be happy at not just any old job.
So now you know, there you have it, that's what I've been doing since last time I blogged.
Jp suggested staying where I'm at til the kids get sick again, and then just quit then. It would be smart of me, the hours are great for me (7am -3pm) and great money... but my damn pride won't let me.
I can't back down.
I hate being in that office now and all I can think of is getting out of there.


Awesome Mom said...

What a jerk! Stick to your guns and find something you love with a boss that is not an ass. (If that is possible)

tweetey30 said...

Asswipe.. I am so glad I am a stay at home mom right now. I mean some day I want to go back to the work feild but right now its to hard with have an almost 4 year old and a seven year old. You just never know when they are going to get sick and its to hard to take time off. Most places dont care if your kids get sick or not they just want you to work. Dont people like your boss remember there parents having to take care of him when he was a kid when he got sick. Or was it in his house hold like Leave it to Beaver household where mommy stayed home and daddy went out and worked. OOPS that looks like my household.. LOL... Sorry i was just describing how we work.. But still. I really hope you find something soon for your sanity and that will be a little more flexible when the kids get sick.

Just telling it like it is said...

What a dick...Did I say that out know there are some people out there that still care about well...their Children...
Hang in there suga...
your making the right decision...
always follow your heart it will never lead you astray...
And I am sorry about your recent loss...There is never anything anyone can say to make you feel better...I can only say that my thoughts are with you...
Often when I have really sick patients at work I say a little prayer...and some how it makes me feel a little better...
take care...and yes I am feeling better!!!

That girl said...

Awesome Mom - Exactly. Thanks for the good advice.

Tweets - When I was married with the kids dad I too, was a stay at home mom. For sure it's a great choice when it can be done, but you know what? For me, now, even if I could afford to, I probably would still work. I need adult stimulation, lol.

Just telling it like it is - Yup, you used your outside voice when you said that...hehe. I hear you!! And I agree. I am going on my (hopefully) final interview with this same company tonight...cross your fingers.

Dave said...

Sounds to me like Boss has some unresolve authority issues, "promise me..." and then comes back with the bull about how important you are after you told him to kiss off.

If you can find what you want, go; otherwise, I think JP is right. Even were it to come to that, my bet is you wouldn't get fired, just another attempt at intimidation.

Just telling it like it is said...

concider fingers crossed...

Eileen said...

Michelle, I'm very sorry about your grandfather. I know it's difficult. Actually you are one of the very few people I know relatively the same age who even had any grandparents. I'm sorry for your loss.
Your boss is an ass. I know you are familiar with the type. It's an awfel feeling when a kid is sick, being bullied and harrassed at work is even more stressful. I'm actually very lucky with my work place. I got a call a week ago that Leah was sick. I left work and got her, the next day both girls were sick. I missed 1 1/2 days of work. My boss was okay with it. Sure, she was inconvienced by me not being there, but she did understand. She has 3 kids of her own, so she knows. This boss of yours certainly doesn't have any kids. If he does, he reminds me of inconsiderate, irrational, uncaring, and lots of other 'un' words. I'm proud of you for standing up to him and not taking that crap. I'm also proud that you are right out there interviewing and sourcing for a new job. Good luck (but not in a sarcastic way)!
The truth is that most boss' don't care, I think it's special to find a boss who is okay when your kids get sick. There are boss' like that out there, keep looking.
Miss you!!

That girl said...

Dave - You are the voice of reason here. I know JP (and you) are right to say I should stay until something equally good comes along. It makes sense on many levels. Just not to my emotional side. We'll see...I'm out there trying to find something. But the hours are not nearly as good as what I have now. Arrrg.

Telling it like it is - Thank god for that :-) I'll need it.

Eileen - Your boss sounds awesome. My boss HAS 3 children (!!!) but also a stay at home wife AND a nanny. (kinda makes me wonder why he needs both, but if you've got money apparantly you splurge) I know there are 'nice and reasonable' bosses out there, the trouble is during the interview process you can't just ask them how they feel about you booking looks bad. Oh and the kicker on top of all of this? (D. has a fever tonight AGAIN...but I called my mom and she'll stay with her. I was ready to just throw in the towel, but she volunteered so I am okay for tomorrow.)

HamiHarri said...

Gah! That is the worst...going to work at a place you really don't want to be!

It is a sad state of affairs when employers don't want to support parents - kids are the future people! It is also a sad state of affairs when our employers would rather us lie... It kinda reminds me of my last job. I couldn't find my keys one morning (totally random, I know - but Pat had used them to take the dogs out and didn't put them in his pocket!).

Anyhoo, I felt so badly for being late over something so silly, so I emailed my Director and Manager to let them know what happened and that I'd be in asap. When I arrived at work 20 minutes late my Director told me to call in sick for the day next time...becuase it messes up Time On Line (keeps track of employee hours) and that the Executive Director will make me use my vacation hours. I honestly didn't care if my vacation hours were used or if I needed to be docked time - grrr...when did honestly stop being the best policy?

Hold out for that Dream Job girl - I know it is out there for you!

luckyzmom said...

I was a SAHM, and then I was a single Mom and then a SAHM again, with another child. I was always a SAHM, almost militant, advocate, while understanding of single Moms. My husbands career provided me with creative and social outlets (but, no nanny!). Once he retired, that all disappeared and then my kids left home. Double whammy! Looking back, I am less of a SAHM advocate.
And I admire that, as a stay at home Mom, you are so considerate of your children. I hope you find a job you love,with the hours you need, working with people you love and who love you, and that pays you generously. It's out there!

Laura said...

I'm so sorry he's put you in that situation. What a royal jerk. I don't blame you for job searching... you're more proactive than me. I stuck it out at my job for almost two years hating it every day while trying to figure out what I could do instead. Email me about what type of work you might be interested in, and I'll see if I have any contacts who might be able to help you out...

Pendullum said...

Can not believe him!!!!
What a bastard...
Hope you get a new job soon...
And as for him, karma will get him...

Sayre said...

That's one of the reasons I love my job. If the kid is sick, there's no problem with me working at home. Same if I'm sick but functional. My boss is extremely understanding - perhaps in part because he had a round of cancer a couple of years ago and suddenly found himself in that very same position. Believe me, your old boss will learn - probably the hard way.

VV said...

You're not being "picky," you're being practical and actually conscientious to your future employer. You know realistically that your kids will get sick. You know what time you can devote to a job and what time you need to devote to your family. Keep looking, you will find a job that fits. I've been there before and know what a struggle it is at times. Chin up 'ol girl. Stuff like this builds character.