Casanova

After we work all day then come home to take care of you and the kids, and we fall asleep on the couch out of pure exhaustion, do not wake us up to see if you can 'get some'.

The answer will most likely be no.

MY A LIST

This is a recycled post from at least a year ago, on my last blog. There are only a handful of you who'll recognize it and I do think it's worth re-posting. I'll probably do that with some of my favorite old posts, in the whole 'recycling' spirit.

.

You all know what an “A-List” is, right? It’s a list of names of celebrities or otherwise un-attainable people that you can, um, do the hanky-panky with, without your significant other getting mad at you.Jp and I talked about this and he thinks it’s a juvenile idea. So, he doesn’t have a list. Oh well. Too bad for him. No list - no sleeping with some hot celebrity! Can’t be cheating on me without a list, I say.Meanwhile, here’s my list of top 5:

1. Jude Law

2. Matthew Mcconaughey

3. Orlando Bloom

4. Josh Lucas

5. Ryan Gosling

Who’s on your list?

More mediocre service - coming right up!

Get ready America! It's coming!!

In case you haven't heard, Tim Horton's is trying desperately to push into the US market. Tim Horton's is a Canadian coffee and donut chain, much like Crispy Cream or Dunkin' Donuts.

.
It's very popular in Canada, and it's rival is Starbucks. Although Starbucks has a certain snob appeal, I find most canadians, do in fact prefer Timmy's (as we affectionatly refer to it) to Starbucks due to the 'proudly canadian' factor.
.
There is only one little teeny tiny problem. The people who they hire to work there!

As part of the pre-requisite to work at Tim Horton's you must not have graduated high school, and above all, you must not (I repeat NOT) speak english.

.

If you meet the two critiria, you will most likely pass the interview - conducted by a manager and a fellow highschool drop out with no handle on the english language- with flying colours!

.

(NO, it's not a spelling mistake, we spell colour with a 'u'. Same with neighbour, and labour too.)

.

This little hickup does not stop hundreds of hungry commuters from lining up each morning through the drive through, most of us just grabing the standard 'double double' and a bagel.

.

(double double is what Tim Hourton's calls their coffee. 2 cream, 2 sugar. Catchy, right?)

.

I am one of those faithful, if completely frustrated customers, and I go by each morning at 6am and get my double double. Each morning it is always the same. I can put money on how it'll go.

.
Tim Horton's Employee (In frightening Darth Vader voice)

"Welcome to Tim Horton's can I take your order?"

.

Me (wondering why they all sound like Darth Vader in the damn speaker)

"A double double and a toasted bagel please"

.

T H Employee:

"Would you like to try our new B.E.L.T bagel?" (Bacon Egg Lettuce Tomato)

.

Me: "No"

.

T H Employee: " Would you like anything else?"

.

Me: "Still no."

.
I get to the counter drive through. I go to pay. The lady who clearly wasn't listening the first time asks me to repeat my order. So I do. Slowly.

.
Then she reaches out into my car handing me the bagel wrapped in a plastic-y type napkin. At this point I always ask for a bag. She sighs. Hands me the bagel AND a bag.

.

I then proceed to put the bagel into the bag on my own. Next comes the coffee. Again, she attempts to hand me the hot drink. I ask for a sleeve or I'm going to have blisters on my hand before I even get around the corner. She visibly rolls her eyes, but complies.
.
This ritual has gone on every single day for over a year. Same people at the drive through counter, same old me in the car. Same scenario every time.

.

It just kills me. WHY can't they just bag it without being asked?! And why won't they put a sleeve on the coffee without being reminded?! Are we saving a few pennies for the corporate giant by cutting these corners?

.

Then, of course are the days -like today- when I pay with cash instead of debit card. I try not to, because they sometimes run out of fingers and toes and I have to wait for someone else to come by and take off their sandals before I get my change.

.

Today my order came to $3.25 I gave her a $5 bill. She got me my food/drink (after doing our little bag and sleeve dance back and forth first) and started giving me my change.

.

I saw a quarter in my ashtray and handed it to her. That was my first mistake. She moved her hand back and had a puzzled look.

"You already paid." she said.
.
Me: Yes I know, I'm trying to get less change so I'm giving you a quarter.

.

TH Employee (so observant) But you already paid.

.

Me: Yes, you are correct. But now I would like a toonie as change instead of all of that in your hand. ( a toonie is a 2 dollar coin we have)

.

TH Employee: YOU PAID!!

.

Me: We've established that. I am going to give you a quarter back and you can give me a toonie.

.

TH Employee: I am going to get the manager.

.

Me: Oh, for Fuck's sake.

.

Manager comes back, (with the translater in tow)and asks me what the problem is. I tell them that I was trying to get less change and that I wanted to give her a quarter so that I could get a toonie instead of a bunch of coins.
.
He pauses. Seems to be thinking. I hold my breath. Looks at her, then at me. Then he says to me "we don't do that here ma'am" and gives me back $1.75 in change.

.

I just about dropped my coffee into my lap and shook my head.
.
There was no point continuing, as I fear explaining it further would have made me late for work.

And that, in a nutshell, is TIM HORTON'S.

.

Coming soon to an American town near you!

I know! We'll call it DILDO!!

This article just proves I can find the most useful things on google.

.

Sure, you may wonder why I'd be google-ing "Dildo" in the first place, but more importantly, look what a gem I came up with:
.
There is a town in Canada (on the east coast) called DILDO.

.

That's right, as in the toy. Apparantly the quaint little coastal town got it's name long before the toy, however they are now sick of tourists snickering as they come through.
.
They are considering changing the name, though some of the younger generation finds it un-necessary.

.

I think it'd be cool to live in a town called Dildo. It's better than the town called Hell.

.

What do you think? Have you heard of any weird town names near where you live?

.

And, here's my first poll ever:

My best friend's wedding

My friend got married on saturday. I was her maid of honor. I was looking forward to this event for months. JP was hired to be the wedding photographer, and he was looking forward to it as well.

.

Let me tell you it was the weirdest wedding I have ever been to. Complete chaos mixed with utter elegance. I have never seen anything like it.

.

It was due to start at 1:30, but at 1:52 the guests hadn't arrived yet. You want the worst part? Neither had the groom! The church was big and beautifully decorated, but empty.

.

My friend and I were waiting in the limo, with her entire wedding party, not sure what to make of the whole thing. Her mother was fuming and I swear some white foam was becoming visible around the mouth.

.
By 2:15 we finally got started, with only half the guests in attendance. Bastards. But they did all manage to join us later for the open bar reception, of course. And a beautiful, expensive steak and lobster sit down dinner.
.

.

As for the bride and groom, after the VERY long catholic ceremony, they were finally wedded. A few quick pics in the church, and we all jump into the limo to go to the ceremony site for more pictures. Half way there, the bride decides she's hungry, so she requests the limo to stop by the McDonalds. Yes, in full wedding attire.

.

Apart from the shock value that caused, I found it in extremely poor taste. But whateva, a girl's gotta eat I guess, and she was hungry.
.

.

Next, we make it to the reception site, and the reception starts. It was like watching a car wreck. No one knew where to go, when the speeches were coming, when dinner was coming (it was an hour late) and the couple changed their mind at last minute about the first dance.
.

DJ - boy still had some straw on him from sleeping in a barn the night before, I suppose. I was just shocked. His clothes were wrinkled, he had a cap on backwards and brought 4 homies with him. What the hell?

.

Totally didn't fit the $100 a plate reception site. Unbelievable.
.

Then, after dinner, came the part where the groom's mom got liquored up and took the mike. She announced that the bride was lucky to have her son as a husband, since her son could have chosed from any woman.

.

Then she reminded him that he should not forget where he came from, that she was his mother long before she became his wife.

WOW.
The room was left speechless.

.

And the funniest part ~although annoying to JP~ everything was in spanish. (the bride is from Chile, and although she's fluent in english, she came as a toddler, her entire family and new husband are latin, and so the entire ceremony and reception was conducted in spanish)

.

Problem with that is that he missed all the announcements, because he didn't know what they were saying. He almost missed the announcement of them walking in because he didn't understand it. Lucky for us, I speak spanish fluently so I ended up being his ears for the rest of the night.

.
Some people would just come up to him and start chatting him up in spanish, not realizing he was the only one there who couldn't understand them. After a while, he should've just started speaking french and they'd have the same look on their faces as he did.
.

2 people had their children there, and had no control over them. They ran up to the head table crawling under it, running and banging on the piano during the toasts, and just being kids, but no one took the time to pick these kids up and discipline them or take them outside so that the toasts or speeches could continue uninterrupted.

.

At one point, one of them was dancing circles around the bride and groom doing their first dance, and no one said anything.
.

.

All in all, my friend was deliriously happy, so I guess you'd call that a success. Jp and I will just stick to calling it a freakshow...but only in private, don't worry.

Do I or don't I?

We've established already that I am not the most laid back person on the planet. I have a Type A personality, with all the gifts it brings: anxiousness, worry, planning, scheduling everything to death.

My latest endeavor is no different. It hasn't even happened yet, but I am consuming my mind with thoughts about it.

"IT" being a new job.

I have worked at my current company for just over a year. And while my boss can be the most distant, un-feeling jerk in the world, I have come to love what I do. I am good at it, and lately my work has been rewarded with a new office and a new title. (Not to mention extra perks like trips on company's dime and season hockey tickets that Ican use.)

BUT - there had to be a but... I work 1 and 1/2 hours away from home and it is a very long commute every day. And of course, working with an ass of a boss has it's downside. If you let it get to you , as I did in the beginning, it can really bring you down.

And, because it is a privately owned business, so other than the great pay, there are no medical benefits and no pension.

Today I received a call from an HR lady from a government agency that I had applied to. I have an interview scheduled for next thursday. I am very exited, I have been trying to get into a government job for as long as I can remember. How can I not want that for myself?

Union wages, scheduled breaks and paid overtime-something unheard of at our company-

lots of benefits and a great pension...you name it. Oh, did I tell you it is 4 minutes from my front door? Yeah, that sweetens the deal doesn't it?

Here is my dilemma: I have come to like what I do and am afraid of leaving it for a job that would be less challanging (i am in a leadership role now, and the new job is entry level). Also, I'd be taking at least a $10,000 paycut per year. Minimum.

Basically I have to choose between two careers: One, that I am in now, with a great salary and challanges, but no benefits and no pension and far from home and one that is an entry level position, that I am over qualified for, but it is right outside my door, job security, pension, super annuation and guaranteed raises every year. (the pay is not bad either, just less than my current position)

I am jumping the gun here, I know.... I haven't even had an interview yet.

(panel interview, no less - any tips?)

Flipping a coin may just be the way to decide on this one.

Just the way things are

***I will preface this post by adding that nothing went wrong in my personal life, and that I am totally in love with my husband. I'm not even pissed off, really.

It's just an observation in general***

_______

.

Most women are bitches. Me included. The reason I can admit that is because I believe society requires us to be this way. I think in order to be a carreer woman nowadays, you sometimes have to be comfortable with being labeled a bitch.

-

"Nice" women don't wear suits. They bake cookies.
-
We are taught very early on to be nice. To share. To not tattle tale. And above all, to play well with others. While our mothers were molding us into "nice" girls, our brothers were dirty, rough-playing little shits who got away with most things.
-
Our mothers meant well, but it does not do us justice in the real world. A women needs to be strong and kind, both at once. Gentle and firm. Only then, will you not get trampled on by men.
-
And speaking of men, (and I do like to speak of men often) I am often perplexed by them. They work hard to woo an independant woman. Maybe harder than they should. They make it their goal to "break through" some make believe barrier to be the one successful suitor in her life.
-
And finally, when the woman falls in love with him and willingly gives up all others for him, then...
-
He becomes an ass.