My best friend's wedding

My friend got married on saturday. I was her maid of honor. I was looking forward to this event for months. JP was hired to be the wedding photographer, and he was looking forward to it as well.

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Let me tell you it was the weirdest wedding I have ever been to. Complete chaos mixed with utter elegance. I have never seen anything like it.

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It was due to start at 1:30, but at 1:52 the guests hadn't arrived yet. You want the worst part? Neither had the groom! The church was big and beautifully decorated, but empty.

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My friend and I were waiting in the limo, with her entire wedding party, not sure what to make of the whole thing. Her mother was fuming and I swear some white foam was becoming visible around the mouth.

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By 2:15 we finally got started, with only half the guests in attendance. Bastards. But they did all manage to join us later for the open bar reception, of course. And a beautiful, expensive steak and lobster sit down dinner.
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As for the bride and groom, after the VERY long catholic ceremony, they were finally wedded. A few quick pics in the church, and we all jump into the limo to go to the ceremony site for more pictures. Half way there, the bride decides she's hungry, so she requests the limo to stop by the McDonalds. Yes, in full wedding attire.

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Apart from the shock value that caused, I found it in extremely poor taste. But whateva, a girl's gotta eat I guess, and she was hungry.
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Next, we make it to the reception site, and the reception starts. It was like watching a car wreck. No one knew where to go, when the speeches were coming, when dinner was coming (it was an hour late) and the couple changed their mind at last minute about the first dance.
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DJ - boy still had some straw on him from sleeping in a barn the night before, I suppose. I was just shocked. His clothes were wrinkled, he had a cap on backwards and brought 4 homies with him. What the hell?

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Totally didn't fit the $100 a plate reception site. Unbelievable.
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Then, after dinner, came the part where the groom's mom got liquored up and took the mike. She announced that the bride was lucky to have her son as a husband, since her son could have chosed from any woman.

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Then she reminded him that he should not forget where he came from, that she was his mother long before she became his wife.

WOW.
The room was left speechless.

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And the funniest part ~although annoying to JP~ everything was in spanish. (the bride is from Chile, and although she's fluent in english, she came as a toddler, her entire family and new husband are latin, and so the entire ceremony and reception was conducted in spanish)

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Problem with that is that he missed all the announcements, because he didn't know what they were saying. He almost missed the announcement of them walking in because he didn't understand it. Lucky for us, I speak spanish fluently so I ended up being his ears for the rest of the night.

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Some people would just come up to him and start chatting him up in spanish, not realizing he was the only one there who couldn't understand them. After a while, he should've just started speaking french and they'd have the same look on their faces as he did.
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2 people had their children there, and had no control over them. They ran up to the head table crawling under it, running and banging on the piano during the toasts, and just being kids, but no one took the time to pick these kids up and discipline them or take them outside so that the toasts or speeches could continue uninterrupted.

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At one point, one of them was dancing circles around the bride and groom doing their first dance, and no one said anything.
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All in all, my friend was deliriously happy, so I guess you'd call that a success. Jp and I will just stick to calling it a freakshow...but only in private, don't worry.

Do I or don't I?

We've established already that I am not the most laid back person on the planet. I have a Type A personality, with all the gifts it brings: anxiousness, worry, planning, scheduling everything to death.

My latest endeavor is no different. It hasn't even happened yet, but I am consuming my mind with thoughts about it.

"IT" being a new job.

I have worked at my current company for just over a year. And while my boss can be the most distant, un-feeling jerk in the world, I have come to love what I do. I am good at it, and lately my work has been rewarded with a new office and a new title. (Not to mention extra perks like trips on company's dime and season hockey tickets that Ican use.)

BUT - there had to be a but... I work 1 and 1/2 hours away from home and it is a very long commute every day. And of course, working with an ass of a boss has it's downside. If you let it get to you , as I did in the beginning, it can really bring you down.

And, because it is a privately owned business, so other than the great pay, there are no medical benefits and no pension.

Today I received a call from an HR lady from a government agency that I had applied to. I have an interview scheduled for next thursday. I am very exited, I have been trying to get into a government job for as long as I can remember. How can I not want that for myself?

Union wages, scheduled breaks and paid overtime-something unheard of at our company-

lots of benefits and a great pension...you name it. Oh, did I tell you it is 4 minutes from my front door? Yeah, that sweetens the deal doesn't it?

Here is my dilemma: I have come to like what I do and am afraid of leaving it for a job that would be less challanging (i am in a leadership role now, and the new job is entry level). Also, I'd be taking at least a $10,000 paycut per year. Minimum.

Basically I have to choose between two careers: One, that I am in now, with a great salary and challanges, but no benefits and no pension and far from home and one that is an entry level position, that I am over qualified for, but it is right outside my door, job security, pension, super annuation and guaranteed raises every year. (the pay is not bad either, just less than my current position)

I am jumping the gun here, I know.... I haven't even had an interview yet.

(panel interview, no less - any tips?)

Flipping a coin may just be the way to decide on this one.

Just the way things are

***I will preface this post by adding that nothing went wrong in my personal life, and that I am totally in love with my husband. I'm not even pissed off, really.

It's just an observation in general***

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Most women are bitches. Me included. The reason I can admit that is because I believe society requires us to be this way. I think in order to be a carreer woman nowadays, you sometimes have to be comfortable with being labeled a bitch.

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"Nice" women don't wear suits. They bake cookies.
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We are taught very early on to be nice. To share. To not tattle tale. And above all, to play well with others. While our mothers were molding us into "nice" girls, our brothers were dirty, rough-playing little shits who got away with most things.
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Our mothers meant well, but it does not do us justice in the real world. A women needs to be strong and kind, both at once. Gentle and firm. Only then, will you not get trampled on by men.
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And speaking of men, (and I do like to speak of men often) I am often perplexed by them. They work hard to woo an independant woman. Maybe harder than they should. They make it their goal to "break through" some make believe barrier to be the one successful suitor in her life.
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And finally, when the woman falls in love with him and willingly gives up all others for him, then...
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He becomes an ass.

Just a littly PUSHY?

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This article about "push presents", which ran in last Thursday's NY Times, has been forwarded to me by a dear friend who knows how to get my panties in a twist. Titled "A bundle of joy isn't enough?", the piece focuses on the practice of men giving their birthing wives /girlfriends gifts (often referred to as "Push presents", which I find a particularly revolting term) as a way to celebrate the birth and show their appreciation for everything the mom endured.

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The piece suggests that many women have come to expect these gifts, though some women interviewed say they feel such an expectation is silly. Some men interviewed say they are cool with giving such gifts, while others apparently think such a practice is ludicrous.

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What the hell? My friend (who is now a first time mom to be) is undecided on where she stands on this issue. I, however am not so reserved.

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I cannot believe that women a)would expect or b) accept anything called a PUSH PRESENT.

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To me, that is more insulting than anything. I am not saying that after 17 hours of pushing I wouldn't want a nice pair of diamond earings, but are you kidding me?!

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What does the card read? "Thanks for pushing. You're swell!"

Maybe it's just me. I never got a push present for my kids.
But what the hell do I know? We got divorced, maybe that was the golden ticket?

Merry Christmas

Wishing you a wonderful next few days!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you.

too politically correct

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Today I took the kids to the mall to buy kid suitcases. (We're going on a trip with them to Disneyland next May, and they got to each choose a suitcases as part of their Christmas gift)
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So there we are, in the midst of mall santas and over caffeinated shoppers, having just completed our purchase, when my youngest says Merry Christmas to the sales lady as we walk away.

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Now what would you think the correct response would be such a sentiment from a 5 year old? A smile, and a nod, perhaps a "merry christmas to you too" back?
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NOPE.
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She told my 5 year old: " You should say happy holidays, since not everyone celebrates Christmas".
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My daughter just looked at her with a blank expression on her face.Then she looked up at me. I could see the sales person waiting for me to echo her sentiment, and to use this opportunity to teach my child the 'correct' way to greet someone during December.
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Instead I am going to teach her how to distinguish old bags from regular people.
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Having a discussion about politically correct Christmas greetings is not a discussion I want to have with my children. In fact it ranks right up there with the conversation about why Jake in her class has two daddys.
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It's not something I'm getting into with 5 year olds.
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Here's my question to you:
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How far are we going with this politically correct crap? You tell me! Why can' t a child say "merry Christmas" to another without being given a lecture? Why are we being sensored?
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I don't get it.
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Even if someone else doesn't celebrate Christmas, that doesn't mean we have to hide the fact that we do. Why would that even be offensive to someone? It shouldn't be.
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It's not like I'm putting someone else's beliefs down.
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I can talk like this because I experienced first hand what it is like to move here, and be a minority. I came to this country when I was 14. I had to learn a different language, different customs and different traditions. I have never felt insult if a tradition was different than mine. I was the one who moved here, if I didn't like it tough! After all, I chose to move here!
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And that is exactly why I hate how careful we've become as a nation to not offend any minorities with our opinions, our traditions and our culture. You know what? Most people who moved here from another country, have had bigger problems than being offended by someone celebrating Christmas!
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I refuse to teach my children to apologize for who they are. That doesn't mean I don't want them to be sensitive to others, it just means they don't have to be scared of sharing their opinions too.

sluts or skanks? Neither, just a new girl

Yes, I am referring to our new employee we just hired. Lovely lovely girl, all of 19 year old and more flakey than the snowflakes in my backyard.

But it's not in a bad way, just amusing. I have a window in my office so I get to watch the interaction daily. Have I mentioned I work in a mostly male field? (only male workers, only male clients) I am -should correct that, was- the only female there.

In walks Stacey. Let's call her that because you won't know if it's real or not anyway :-)

Fresh young meat. You could see the guys, circling like vultures.

Yup, circling.

So, like a bad accident, I watch. I pause and I look out my window.

Here, I'll draw a picture for you:

19, young and blonde. Her wardrobe must be left over from her last job as a call girl, because all she wears is skin tight shirts and short short skirts. When she wears jeans they're super low cut. So you have no choice but to notice her, um assets.

She's sweet as pie, but clueless. Men have two views to choose from. If they're in front of her, and she's at the desk -while they are standing mind you- they get to look down her shirt. If they're behind her, watching her lean over her desk, they get to see the pretty rhinestones in her g-string.

Win win situation for all.

Except that my boss is now asking ME to address this delicate situation, and to 'take her under my wing' so I can help her fit in better. He means make her more prude-ish like me :-)

Now I am not one to be at a loss for words, but I don't want to be the one telling her anything. And that guy in the office upstairs, I don't want to talk to him about deodorant either!! There are just some things that cannot be brought up delicately.

Hmmm... maybe if I am her "Secret Santa" and buy her a sweater, maybe that'll work!