Friday, December 28, 2007

Just a littly PUSHY?

This article about "push presents", which ran in last Thursday's NY Times, has been forwarded to me by a dear friend who knows how to get my panties in a twist. Titled "A bundle of joy isn't enough?", the piece focuses on the practice of men giving their birthing wives /girlfriends gifts (often referred to as "Push presents", which I find a particularly revolting term) as a way to celebrate the birth and show their appreciation for everything the mom endured.
The piece suggests that many women have come to expect these gifts, though some women interviewed say they feel such an expectation is silly. Some men interviewed say they are cool with giving such gifts, while others apparently think such a practice is ludicrous.
What the hell? My friend (who is now a first time mom to be) is undecided on where she stands on this issue. I, however am not so reserved.
I cannot believe that women a)would expect or b) accept anything called a PUSH PRESENT.
To me, that is more insulting than anything. I am not saying that after 17 hours of pushing I wouldn't want a nice pair of diamond earings, but are you kidding me?!
What does the card read? "Thanks for pushing. You're swell!"
Maybe it's just me. I never got a push present for my kids.
But what the hell do I know? We got divorced, maybe that was the golden ticket?


Eileen said...

I've never heard of a 'push present'. I agree with you, it's stupid. Personally, IF Scott ever got me anything, especially now, I'd wonder what poison was in it. Anyway, isn't that what Mother's Day is supposed to be for?? Showing the mother (the Pusher)that you care what she did.
This must be another Hallmark inspired idea. Think of the cards they can come up with for that one!

Mrs. Monkey said...

"We are living in a material world and [they are] material girls." (Madonna)

Absolutely ridiculous! They make it sound like they were forced into giving birth. Like there was no other option. They are NOT victims here.

I'd take housekeeping and a massage but only to help with the aching muscles and lack of sleep that comes with the CHOICE I MADE!

I so agree with you about this. Some women get publicity and ruin the good image that rest of us work so hard to build. Being a mom is certainly not about diamond rings and sculptures. It's about homemade Christmas gifts, pictures drawn and colored just for me. Little ceramic crafts and hand prints set in plaster on a paper plate. It's about the hugs and the greetings at the door when you come home. The proud feeling when they roll over, walk, talk, write their name, etc. Not about some worldly crap that honors your "pushing." My children remind me of that in a much more heartfelt way.

I am now stepping of my soap box.

*walks away shaking head at the bizzare state of the world*

HamiHarri said...

I don't like the term "push presents" - but I have to say it is kind of sweet to have something special to mark the day with (yes, I do realize that there is the baby to do this ;). I always envisioned recieving an eternity ring (or something along those lines) at the birth of our first born...although I could see this not being fiscally possible considering all the expenses a new baby brings.

Perhaps I should read the NY Times article....have yet to do that.

luckyzmom said...

You left a comment and I wondered who "that girl" was and then I came to your blog through my bookmarks (where I keep you for your privacy) and here you are. Hope you had a fabulous Christmas.

That girl said...

Eileen - It figures it was Hallmark. They're always behind all the new "days" out there.

Mrs. Monkey - I loved your comment! You said it better than I could've ever done.

HamiHarry - An eternity band sounds nice. Symbolic for blending your family from you and your spouse, to 3 people...that's nice too, but to have it be a 'push present' that is something completely different I think. Eileen hit the nail on the head, when she said mother's day is usually the day reserved for this.

Luckyzmom - merry christmas to you too.

Ann(ie) said...

Ditto Mrs. Monkey!! Keep me in fresh flowers and make me dinner, though. That wouldn't suck. hehe. ;)

La Cremiere said...

Hahaha! I wonder what brought this topic on, as a 'not mother' I haven't thought about it. However, my mom had a beautiful pearl necklace from my dad at my birth because he loved her so much for giving birth to a beautiful baby girl and then, my mom gave me the necklace from my birth and I thought that was awesome to have something so precious, not because of the value of the gift, but because this souvenir is absolutely priceless. So, no I would not expect a present for giving birth, the most beautiful present is the Baby, but a present for Love, I would not say no to that.

La Cremiere said...

... after reading the other comments... Not wanting to bad mouth or anything, but aren't the post and comments a little cynical? I think it's rather sweet that the Dads want to praise their partners for giving birth to their precious little babies. Then again, it should come from Dads and not requested by Moms, which is possibly what you are talking about.

La Cremiere said...

... after reading the other comments... Not wanting to bad mouth or anything, but aren't the post and comments a little cynical? I think it's rather sweet that the Dads want to praise their partners for giving birth to their precious little babies. Then again, it should come from Dads and not requested by Moms, which is possibly what you are talking about.

tweetey30 said...

I have never heard of one either and never recieved one but then again I never pushed the girls out. they were taken by C-section. LOL.. Well I think its stupid on top of things really. I mean come on woman push and you will get these pretty earring and beautiful necklace in the box. Not... Its one thing to give a present aftewards but to call it a push present. I dont think so.

That girl said...

Annie - Amen to that.

Cremiere - Yes, it's sweet to receive a gift from a husband/boyfriend, to signify the birth of the child, BUT - and this is a big but - if you read the NY times article, you will see what I am talking about, these women are 'expecting' these so called push presents, and are wondering what kind of present they will get at their next 'push' event. I find that disheartening. Maybe it's just the term I find vulgar. Not sure.

Tweets - C sections still count.We can call them "pull presents" in your case, as they were 'pulled' out, lol.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I had never heard of this...until my friend asked me what Paul gave me after my daughter was born. Knowing that, back then, we could barely afford each other...much less this brand new baby...I replied, "nothing!". This was met with such indignance that I thought I was the crazy person.

I think he sent me flowers after our son was born. Of course...I was heavily they could have come from somebody else! :)

Vancouver Voyeur said...

I received nothing for my first child and a balloon for my second. Woo-hoo, that told me how much what I did meant to him, not to mention, he wasn't a very good father either, I was essentially a single mom the whole time. The divorce was the best gift I ever gave myself. He's on wife number 4 now. Not bitter, though it sounds like it, I made a foolish choice in a husband at a young age, paid for it, and have now moved on.

Anonymous said...

I always got flowers and lots of praise when I had a baby and a few extra nights of sleep. Those were some of my greatest happiest day. I felt like a queen for awhile. Later I was a diaper changing sleep deprived Mom. I'll take diamonds please...and if I had to do it again I'd beg for a nanny. It must be wonderful to be married to a rich man or to have money of one's own. They are probably the same women who get the "push gifts". maybe the nanny should have a day.