However weird you are, this is weirder

So, I'm googling Scientology.

Why? Because it's wednesday night and I've got nothing better to do. (that's not really the point here)

Well, of course I immediatly wonder if, I too, could become a couch-jumping wacko. So I dig a little deeper. Ah, a questionaire. Perfect. (These are actual questions from the Church of Scientology 's "Sec Whole Track" questionaire. No lying.)

1. Have you ever driven anyone insane? Most likely. Ask my husband. Or my mother.

2. Have you ever killed the wrong person? Um, it's ok if I killed the right person?

3. Is anybody looking for you? Nobody good.

4. Have you ever set a poor example? Nope. I only teach my kids to hit when no one is looking.

5. Did you come to earth for evil purposes? Um, did you?

6. Are you in hiding? Usually.

7. Have you systematically set up mysteries? Yes. It's always a mystery to me how I never have any money left over.

8. Have you ever made a practice of confusing people? Do I count?

9. Have you ever gone crazy? Gone? I'm still there...I can't find my way back.

10. Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity? Actually yes. Back in the day, I had quite a few admirers who could not take no for an answer. So I tried to act even crazier than I am, to scare them off. But the crazier I acted, the more they wanted me. Go figure.

11. Have you ever deserted or betrayed a great leader? Well, we haven't had one in a while, so I"ll go with ...no.

12. Have you ever smothered a baby? No. Never even thought about it. My kids are awesome.

13. Do you deserve to have any friends? Of course I do. I'm super fun.

14. Have you ever castrated anyone? Not yet. But I've thought about castrating some of the boys in question 10.

15. Do you deserve to be enslaved? Um, no. Oh wait, will it be by one of my A-List guys?

16. Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real? Huh? I don't get this one. Oh, are you talking about drinking, cause in that case, yes.

17. Have you ever zapped anyone? No. I have no zapper gun thing-y. Can I get one of those from you?

18. Have you ever had a body with a veneral disease? As far as I know this is the only body I've had, and it's clean.

SO...you think I can get in? Well, if not, there's always Kaballah.

Good samaritans or suckers?

Have you ever had something happen to you that was so ridiculous that the only logical thought in your head was "I'm so blogging this!"

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Last weekend started out like any other. In fact, we thought it would be better than most, since some family friends of ours called us and told us that they've decided to buy new furniture and are getting rid of their gently used leather couch, loveseat and lazychair. Would we want them?

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Since we've been looking to update our couch, and their leather couch had a

hide-a-bed in it, we said "HELL YA!"

We've been meaning to update our furniture, and had agreed on buying a couch with a hide-a-bed next time. It seemed that our friends offer was our lucky day.

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Alas, it's wasn't that simple. These people lived about an hour away and we'd need to rent a moving truck to fit it all in. After doing the math, we came to the conclusion that it'd be worth paying for the rental in order to receive such quality furniture for free.

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At the rental place the employee pissed me off right away. He took all my I.D's, along with a strand of my hair for DNA and a urine sample. Then he proceeded to 'authorize' my credit card for $300... (rental was just $100!) in case I got a speeding ticket while I had the truck.

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but if I get a speeding ticket in someone else's truck, I am still the one paying for the ticket, not the owner of the truck. I tried to argue this point and some lady behind me in line who really wanted to get on my last nerve, butt in and said 'they're just doing their job, it's their policy to authorize for that".

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I thanked her for being so helpful and jumping in. My eyes must have told a different story 'cause she backed right up.

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Then, the employee of the month, takes his clipboard and starts going outside with it. He inspects the truck announces that there are no damages to it and that it'll be inspected again upon it's return. So, I went outside and started taking pictures of all the dents and scratches with my cellphone.

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Dude's got a clipboard, and looked all official, so I figured I could take pictures, while loudly announcing each scratch I found.

(Ya don't think that was childish of me, do ya?)

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The cow, I mean the helpful lady inside, was rolling her eyes at me through the glass.

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We made it to our destination, where the leather gifts were already neatly stacked outside. I was so exited, they were a beautiful hunter green colour. We backed up in the driveway, and I hopped out.

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Good thing I was holding on to the back door as I jumped out or I would've fallen on my ass right there.

It was like a bad movie...All I could say is "no no no" and shake my head.

JP followed me and I just stared and pointed.
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I am not going to pretend that I am not a snob, because I most certainly am. I like nice things. I don't put crap in my house.

If that crap is being given away for free, it's still crap and I don't want it.

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No wonder they left the shit outside.

They probably had it out there the entire winter and nobody took it.
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The couches were dirty, scratched, dis-colored, and just all around nasty. I couldn't believe my eyes. Where the hell did these people think I lived, in the ghetto of suburbia? I wouldn't be caught dead with those pieces in my house.

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So now, we're an hour away from home, with an empty rental truck and items we don't want in front of us. JP suggests we just load them in, and talk about it on the way home. So, he loaded them in by himself as I cussed like a sailor and we drove back.
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Once we got home, we moved our couch out of the way, and figured we'd at least try to bring the one couch in (with the hide-a-bed) and see if it would look better once inside. We unloaded the stuff, and once out of the truck, that same wave of disgust came over me when I saw it. No way am I putting this in my house.

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Jp loaded it all back in the truck and we put our old couch back. Now we had to go get rid of these items somewhere. We went to a couple of thrift stores. One was not accepting donations on sunday, the other was full. At this point we're just driving around looking for someone who'll take them.

(bare in mind we're being charged by the kilometer as we're driving)
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Never one to be classy and composed in situations like this, I cursed and swore the entire time. (Oh, yeah, I'm a treat to hang out with when things don't go my way)

We decide we should go to the dump and 'recycle' this garbage. We go in, we wait in line, we pay an arm and a leg (they charge by weight) and then we leave. Of course, JP unloaded the entire truck alone

again, while I took pictures documenting this catastrophy for you guys.

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these pictures don't truly show the awful state of the rips and tears, in fact they look ok in the photos.
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By this point we've spent over $150 (including milage, gas, truck rental and 'recycling fee') and 5 hours of our sunday afternoon taking out other people's trash.

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Once we got back into our own vehicle, after the rental truck was returned, we looked at each other and laughed.

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Somehow, it's hard not to feel like total suckers.

Dumb ways to make money

Last night there was a hockey game in town and some joker who got called out of the crowd had his dream come true. There was a contest, and he had 25 seconds on the clock, to shoot the puck in the net a minimum 15 out of 20 times (further away for each shot).

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Joker-boy apparantly is a secret NHL wannabe, because he scored the required shots on net and for his 25 seconds got himself not only a brand new 2008 vehicle, but also, (are you ready for this?)

$1,000000 !!!

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That is 6 zeros people!

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1 Million dollars for doing fuck-all.

How do I sign up for that? Do I need to go on unemployment insurance and play street hockey in the back of my house all day? Would that help?

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Perhaps I need to go and buy a coffee at the Tim Horton's down the street. They are having a millionaire contest too. All you have to do is "Roll up the Rim to Win" ~(name of actual contest)~ You drink, you roll up the rim of your paper cup and voila, you can win the riches of your dreams.

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Since when does it take no skill or effort to become rich? Oh yeah, I know, they have that skill testing question : How much is 19 + 5? Calculator included.

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Seriously though. I'm really tired of people becoming rich (or famous for that matter) for nothing at all.

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Let Paris Hilton lead the way!

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We're enabling people every day to be lazy and reward them for it too. Damn squeegee kids at every red light with last night's dirty bathwater.

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"Hey miss - want me to clean your windows ?" No you freak, step away from my car.

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Clearly, I must have a stick stuck up my you know what, I know. But I hate this type of behaviour.

You know what else I hate? Giving money to young people in designer sneakers holding up signs that say:

"Homeless and hungry".

How are you homeless? Didn't you just get out of that soccer mom's van over there?

What the hell is wrong with you!

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When I walk the streets of Vancouver (In a totally non-hooker type of way) I realize that we have used every excuse in the book not to work.

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People have signs that say "Will work for food", but then turn up their noses at my mystery meat sandwhich.

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One lady, who did in fact look homeless, had a thousand piercings in her face. It was hot outside and she was begging for money for food as well. I think someone offered her some water, but it just spilled out of all the holes and she was right back at square one.

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Last weekend there was a bum with a sign that read: "Stranded here from planet Zuxlu. Need money to fix my spaceship. Please help"

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Well, I did give to him.

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Dude was stuck here.

GREAT NEWS

I got it!!

*doing happy snoopy dance*

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I got the job I was hoping for. I'm so excited, the new boss called me today and even offered the compensation that I asked for. It's 8 minutes away from my house, and the hours are great. Whoot!

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I gave 2 weeks notice today and my boss' jaw dropped. He didn't see it coming. He kept saying that if it doesn't work out I could come back, bla bla bla. Too late buddy, get used to it.

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So, today I found out my girlfriend and her husband want to vacation with JP and I next January. We have fun with them, they are good couple friends of ours, but on holidays together?

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How does that work?
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I think we're now officially old, if we're considering vacationing with another couple. I can just see it now, me and the other mrs. scrapbooking while the men play the wii.

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What kind of vacationing is that? How about the hot vacation sex? You can't have any hanky panky when you know your friends are reading the bible in the next room!

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(they're the good church going kind of couple that JP and I just aren't)

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And I'm sure they won't want to see us skinny dipping in the pool at night. Or watch us rent dirty movies at night.

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Sigh.

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So much to consider.

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Then, comes the decision of finding somewhere where 4 people agree to go to. Jp and I like the sun, so we'll go anywhere with hot climate. We're beach whores.

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However our friends are more the 'let's go for an all day hike' type of people. We love them, but we get tired just looking at them.

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I suppose it's nice they asked. Gosh darn it, people like us.

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I don't know about you all but we take being on vacation pretty seriously. We do mostly nothing. And we like it that way.

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We sleep in, eat breakfast in bed, scratch a little, then get tired again.

Oh yeah, we're a hoot to hang with. Do we really want to subject our friends to that?

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There go our game nights when we get back home.

Job hunting

I have been on my blog a few times, ready to write and just too exhausted to do so.

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My grandpa died on Feb 12 and i've been doing family stuff. The kids were confused and I had to answer a hundred questions about death and what happens after. I wasn't properly prepared for it all, and all of a sudden I've been wondering if I should go back to church.

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We'll see.

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Other than that, for the past few weeks I've been job hunting. I've had 4 interviews, 2 job offers and 1 second follow up interview set up for next week as well. I'm tired. Tired of getting dressed up, of pawning my kids off to my mother's so I can go to the interviews, tired of answering 20 questions, tired of waiting and most tired of being 'on'.

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You see, my lovely 6 year old pain-in-the-butt of a daughter got sick. I mean the 'so sick we have to go to the hospital' type sick. I took 2 days off work. (I called in sick) I told my boss we were at the hospital with my daughter and I had to stay with her.

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Once I did return to work (Jp had to book time off as well, since I could not be taking any more days off from my work) my boss took me into the office and bluntly asked if I plan on working there any longer. It was like a ton of bricks just hit me. I said "yes" and asked why.
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He said he could not accept my 2 days off as "sick days" as it was not me that was sick, it was my child. (As he so elequantly put it, he does not give sick days for someone's children) So I should've lied then I guess...

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Anyway, I told him he could take from my vacation days. Bastard turned to me and said 'you need to give me notice to take vacation days'.

Asshole.
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So after that little fiasco, I threw my hands up in the end and said "cut me some slack". But he didn't. He told me I could choose to hand in my resignation or choose to stay but "promise it won't happen again." I didn't need to think about it. I looked him straight in the eye and said

"i have 2 small children, I guarantee that it'll happen again".

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I walked out of his office, shaken up and angry. I am still angry, even though it happened almost 2 weeks ago. Since then, he's talked to me again (no, not apologized, since that would mean he'd have to admit he was wrong) and said he just wanted to show me how important I was to his organization, that he needs me to run the joint and since I was gone for 2 days, that means there is no one there to take care of things.

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He told me it was a good thing, and to look at it as meaning I was a valuable memeber of his team.

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Well, it didn't work. I didn't take it like that. Ever since that day, I've been actively searching for new work. I've had a few interviews. Some were not enough money, some were not the hours I'm looking for, and so on. I got a great job offer at the police station down the road, but I had to turn in down because every second rotation would have been afternoon shift

(i want to be with my kids after 4pm so that didn't work for me)

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I know I sound picky, and I really don't think I am being that way. I am totally going to take a pay cut , I am prepared to, but I still want it to be something that I can be happy at not just any old job.
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So now you know, there you have it, that's what I've been doing since last time I blogged.

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Jp suggested staying where I'm at til the kids get sick again, and then just quit then. It would be smart of me, the hours are great for me (7am -3pm) and great money... but my damn pride won't let me.

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I can't back down.

I hate being in that office now and all I can think of is getting out of there.

Blog buddies

I just got back from a very cool lunch date with a woman that I've only known through my blog before. We've been reading each other's blogs for over a year now, and I always think she has something interesting to post about. But to actually meet, in person, is taking the blog-friendship to a whole new level.

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Can I just say I heart Laura! We met at this hole in the wall monolian restaurant that I just adore. I eat there about once a week, even though I live 1 hour drive from it. I'm seriously considering moving closer into the city to be near the restaurant.

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Yup. That's how much thought I put into all my big decisions.

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But back to Laura. I walked in and saw her sitting at the table already. I stopped from a minute to really let it sink in. Moment of truth, right? What if in person, it'd be totally different? After all, I never did tell her I was short. What if she didn't like me?

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(I sound like a highschool kid on a first date)

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Well, I needn't have worried. She was fantastic. Not only is she tall, beautiful and smart but she's got a great sense of humour and a number of fantastic stories. Poor girl couldn't get to her food, since I kept playing 20 questions.

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But it turns out we have a lot of things in common, from the type of car we go for (just cause it's cute, right Laura?) to the travelling bug , to both of us wanting to leave our current jobs, and even to the fact that we both narrowly escaped marrying musicians. Both our exes are convinced they are headed for 'big time' rockstar status.

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It's so cool to meet a fellow blogger, especially one who's life you've been 'following' over the years. It doesn't feel like meeting a stranger, as much as a friend you've never met.

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At one point we were talking about dogs, and I asked 'who's watching Sierra now?' as if I've met the dog before. But I just feel so connected to her life, since I've been reading her for so long. And more than once, we both referred to past things that happened in our lives, and the other one would nod and remember having read about it.

Too cool.

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Have you met any of your blog friends? If so, was it cool? Did you hit it off right away?

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And truthfully, how many of you would actually put an effort into it and travel

to meet another blogger?

(I'm not talking halfway across the world here, but a reasonable distance)

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HamiHarri- are you reading this?? (LOL)

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You want 10? I'll give you 5.

I loathe bargaining with people about money. I hate garage sales only because of all the people who are haggling around me. It makes me visibly uncomfortable. I know I am a minority in this, since everyone I know does haggle when it comes to price.

Some only do it when it comes to buying from garage sales. Others enjoy the experience while buying a car at a dealership. Many still, will bargain with sales people inside stores.

Everything about arguing (as i think of it) with someone about price is totally out of my comfort zone. I am outspoken and abrupt so it's not the confrontation that I am scared of. I just don't like this game. The seller will price the item higher so that he has room to come down. The buyer will offer a lower price, and feels good about themselves as they leave because they've gotten such a 'good deal'.

Why? Everyone knows this goes on. So what's the point?

I don't hold many garage sales as I'm sure you've guessed. I tried to but it doesn't work. I price things at the price I expect to sell them at but nevertheless, there is always a conversation about price that goes something like this:

Buyer: "how much is this?"
Me: "5 dollars"
Buyer: "I'll give you 3."
Me: "It's 5."

Then they get upset, and I get upset and at the end of the day, I have to pack up all my crap back into the garage. It's futile.

The other day we bought a 'new' car (a 2002) and JP wanted me to seal the deal while he was away. Problem was that he wanted me to offer $500 less than the asking price. He knew that it would be hard for me, but he had no idea how much so. I couldn't sleep the night before, I thought about it all day, and then, just before I got to the lady's house (the one that was selling the car) my palms got all sweaty. In the end, I couldn't do it. I found something wrong with the car, and told her my husband would be by later to look at it.

I am lucky that she allowed that to happen, and didn't sell it to someone else. When JP went there, he offered $500 less, she said she wanted $200 more than what he offered. In the end we bought the car at a price we were happy with and she probably got what she had originally anticipated.

But to me, this little 'haggling dance' cost me sleepless nights, sweaty palms, a headache and more than a few gray hairs. I'd rather paid her the $300 more she had asked for and be done with it.

I guess I am a lone breed in all of this, but that is how it is.