Monday, January 7, 2008

My best friend's wedding


My friend got married on saturday. I was her maid of honor. I was looking forward to this event for months. JP was hired to be the wedding photographer, and he was looking forward to it as well.
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Let me tell you it was the weirdest wedding I have ever been to. Complete chaos mixed with utter elegance. I have never seen anything like it.
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It was due to start at 1:30, but at 1:52 the guests hadn't arrived yet. You want the worst part? Neither had the groom! The church was big and beautifully decorated, but empty.
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My friend and I were waiting in the limo, with her entire wedding party, not sure what to make of the whole thing. Her mother was fuming and I swear some white foam was becoming visible around the mouth.
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By 2:15 we finally got started, with only half the guests in attendance. Bastards. But they did all manage to join us later for the open bar reception, of course. And a beautiful, expensive steak and lobster sit down dinner.
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As for the bride and groom, after the VERY long catholic ceremony, they were finally wedded. A few quick pics in the church, and we all jump into the limo to go to the ceremony site for more pictures. Half way there, the bride decides she's hungry, so she requests the limo to stop by the McDonalds. Yes, in full wedding attire.
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Apart from the shock value that caused, I found it in extremely poor taste. But whateva, a girl's gotta eat I guess, and she was hungry.
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Next, we make it to the reception site, and the reception starts. It was like watching a car wreck. No one knew where to go, when the speeches were coming, when dinner was coming (it was an hour late) and the couple changed their mind at last minute about the first dance.
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DJ - boy still had some straw on him from sleeping in a barn the night before, I suppose. I was just shocked. His clothes were wrinkled, he had a cap on backwards and brought 4 homies with him. What the hell?
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Totally didn't fit the $100 a plate reception site. Unbelievable.
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Then, after dinner, came the part where the groom's mom got liquored up and took the mike. She announced that the bride was lucky to have her son as a husband, since her son could have chosed from any woman.
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Then she reminded him that he should not forget where he came from, that she was his mother long before she became his wife.

WOW.
The room was left speechless.

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And the funniest part ~although annoying to JP~ everything was in spanish. (the bride is from Chile, and although she's fluent in english, she came as a toddler, her entire family and new husband are latin, and so the entire ceremony and reception was conducted in spanish)
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Problem with that is that he missed all the announcements, because he didn't know what they were saying. He almost missed the announcement of them walking in because he didn't understand it. Lucky for us, I speak spanish fluently so I ended up being his ears for the rest of the night.
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Some people would just come up to him and start chatting him up in spanish, not realizing he was the only one there who couldn't understand them. After a while, he should've just started speaking french and they'd have the same look on their faces as he did.
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2 people had their children there, and had no control over them. They ran up to the head table crawling under it, running and banging on the piano during the toasts, and just being kids, but no one took the time to pick these kids up and discipline them or take them outside so that the toasts or speeches could continue uninterrupted.
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At one point, one of them was dancing circles around the bride and groom doing their first dance, and no one said anything.
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All in all, my friend was deliriously happy, so I guess you'd call that a success. Jp and I will just stick to calling it a freakshow...but only in private, don't worry.

21 comments:

Ryan said...

Why is it the grooms mom always has to get liquored up and do something borderline retarded?

That was an excellent little piece, and I intend on showing wifey this post and telling her "see.... it wasn't so bad after all!"

tweetey30 said...

Wow. What a wedding. I have to say I am glad my MIL didnt come to ours. I dont think I could have gotten through the small and short ten minutes with her not keeping her mouth shut. We got married with the Justice of Peace here anyway. No big fancy wedding. But glad to hear your friend was happy. That is all that matters int end right??

Jazz said...

Bwwwahahahahahaa

She doesn't have access to this blog does she?

That girl said...

Ryan - I guess the rest of the time the groom's moms must be biting their tongues eh? But put a little liquor in them and boy do they let loose! LOL.

Tweets - JP and I also eloped. I wouldn't have it any other way for me, I avoided a bunch of headaches that way.

Jazz - No woman! Can you just imagine though if she did? Teehee.

jolie-jordan said...

The wedding was probably a very good prelude to the rest of their life. Some people love chaos and thrive with it...sounds like this couple will have a busy chaotic life. If they are happy that's what works...

I like things to go smoothe so it would've been the wedding from hell for me but I might have thought it great fun and funny had I been there and watched them enjoy it.

Good story my pal. Made me feel (ALMOST) normal.
xxxJolie

The Diva's Thoughts said...

Wow! Sounds like a VERY interesting wedding. LOL

Funny.

That girl said...

Jolie - I guess that is a good way to look at it. I tend to like the quiter more organized way, but this seemed to work for her.

Diva - It was. Although 'interesting' is a nice way of putting it :-)

HamiHarri said...

First off, that is an AMAZING picture of you and your hubs - wow!

And secondly...that wedding sounded like one of my recent wedding nightmares...lol

tweetey30 said...

I keep looking at those photos and she looks so pretty in that gown. I have a gown but never wore it. My mothers dream I would wear it.. LOL...

Diesel said...

The bride looks nice, but you are just cute as a button.

I hope the bride saved some liquor from the reception, because she's going to need it to deal with that MIL.

That girl said...

HamiHarry - I just KNEW you would appreciate the post, lol!

I'm certain yours will be nothing like it.

Tweets - It was a beautiful gown you are right! Have you ever thought about wearing your gown, just for a picture session? You'd have nice photos of you and Jeff.

Diesel - Thanks. There's nothing I like more than being flattered ;-)

But you are so right about the MIL.. she is totally involved with her son. Too much so. I'm not envious of that situation at all!

Awesome Mom said...

That would have given me a head ache. For an event that big I would have demanded more order. I guess if your friend is happy then good for her.

Heather in Beautiful BC said...

Haha - what a crazy wedding!

The poor bride has an uphill battle if the mother-in-law has already started being bitchy... I hope they don't live near her :)

That girl said...

Awesome mom - You hit the nail on the head. And she is happy, so good on her.

Heather - I always love when you come by :-) Yeah, her MIL already said she's upset that she wasn't included in the wedding to the extent she would've liked, and bla bla bla...nothing but problems from here on too, I bet.

Sayre said...

Well... at least the wedding pictures were beautiful!

You've got me thinking. I'll get to be a groom's mom. Better start planning now!

tweetey30 said...

I cant wear it any longer and dont have the money to have it cleaned. It has hanger rust all over it. its a sad waste of money my mom bought. She told me to hang it up on a hanger and I did. But she didnt tell me to hang it up on a plastic hanger.. LOL.. Oh boy.

luckyzmom said...

People were pacing the floor wondering what had happened to me when I was late to my wedding too. I had run out of gas on the Seattle freeway. It is always a good story to tell. So, how does this bride feel about the story she will have to tell about her wedding?

That girl said...

Tweets - oh that's too bad:-( You're right, don't tell your mom, lol.

Luckyzmom - That IS a funny story!! I bet you love telling it too, hehe.

Ann(ie) said...

OH my. The mother of the groom said that???? oh.my. I hope your sweet friend is patient...I'd hate to see them on Dr. Phil's 'I hate my mother in law' special in a few months. ug.

I love that she went to McDonald's on the way to the reception. I already like her!!!

You guys all look beautiful.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

WOW....the groom's mom was a little out of hand!

At my sister's rehearsal dinner...her MIL to be turned to the priest (after MANY a cocktail) and told him that she wanted him to conduct the ceremony as THEY had discussed because my sister is a complete "control freak" and not to be concerned with what she said.

Did I mention my sister was sitting next to her when she said all of this? (Oh...and there is NO whispering when cocktails are involved!)

Laura said...

Ahhh and there is the upside to cancelling your wedding. Don't have to worry about any of these mishaps!!