Saturday, July 5, 2008

Offensive to sensitive readers

So here's my beef with women: They manipulate men.
Now before you go and send me nasty comments, I have plenty of women that I have as friends and they are dear friends to me. I am in no way saying that ALL women are manipulators (After all, I am a woman so that wouldn't be very smart of me)
But I am talking about women in general. You know what I mean ladies. When you pout and cry and yell and scream, or make yourself appear more vulnerable than you really are, just to make that certain man in your life act according to your will.
I've just about had it with those types of women! Yes it works, and most of the time the man doesn't even realize he's being manipulated. But I hate when otherwise intelligent women resort to this type of behaviour.
Stomping your feet and slamming doors will not change what is happening around you. All it does is let everyone know that you are feeling out of control. And what bugs me is when otherwise intelligent men sit miserably by, while it all plays out.
Granted, only a nice guy will allow you to act like a primadonna and not put you in your place, but come on nice guys! You don't have to let women walk all over you. There are plenty of women who , appreciate but not take advantage of, a 'nice guy'.
Plenty that will treat you with the respect you deserve, and love you without trying to change you into someone else.
My grandpa always said: "Men marry hoping their wives will never change. Women marry hoping their husbands will."
Sad, but true.


Fned said...

ooh, I totally want to hear the story that prompted you to write this!!! ji-ji-ji...

I agree though I do have to admit I occasionally stoop to the whining and pouting level in order to get hubby to agree to something... like going to watch Sex and the City with me... LOL


That girl said...

Fned - Me too! I am not saying I haven't done it.

But yesterday I came across it for the first time as a spectator when this was happening to a someone of the male species, who I consider a really good friend. Watching this unfold, made my blood boil.

The part that bugged me most is that I remember 'walking all over' my men when I was young. However, at one point this type of behaviour has to stop and the women needs a gentle kick-in-the-head-reminder that good men are hard to find and they better start treating them nicely.

I can honestly say my behaviour in my 30's is nowhere near my behaviour in my 20's.

Thank God for that, lol.

That girl said...

Pouting to get hubby to watch Sex in the City is totally acceptable by the way :-)
(How else are we gonna get them to watch chick flicks? Hehe)

Crazy Working Mom said...

Well, Hmmmmpfh...I guess you might be right. *wink*

ablondeblogger said...

Oh I so know what you mean! And why do most men seem oblivious to it?

Of course, I've seen it the other way around, too. Either way, it's just wrong.

Jazz said...

I think we all do it to some extent. But then, so do they. After 20 years with my Mr. Nice Guy it's become pretty hard to manipulate him, he knows all the tricks.

I've never been much for manipulataion though, it just takes too damn much energy. It's much easier to just be straight with him.

That girl said...

crazy mom - I am always confused to hear those words said to me. LOL

Blonde - Yeah,it goes both ways. Men are oblivious because we smell pretty, and nothing that smells pretty could be manipulating them, right? Hahha...and they're men.

Jazz - of course we do. All of us, but I guess I was referring much more to the drama (stomping feet/slamming doors) behaviour than the 'I'll pout and he'll wash the car' behaviour.

I came across a 30 something year old a few days ago acting like a total primadonna and it made me want to throw up. I guess it reminded me of my infaile behaviour when I was younger and I didn't like it one bit. (damn, don't you hate it when you see something you dislike in someone and you recognize it as one of your traits too, lol)

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I used to suffer from was as if I pushed...just to see how far I could get away with. Mr. Mayhem is a nice guy....but when he has had enough..he does not hesitate to put me in my place!

VV said...

I agree. I'm not a manipulator now, but do believe I had those tendencies in my 20s. I'm so glad I grew up!

Sayre said...

Unfortunately, my granddaughter is being raised to be a master manipulator. All she has to do is sniff and look up at her targe with big weepy eyes and boom - her heart's desire.

She tried that on me and I told her that it wasn't going to work and she'd just have to get over it. Totally shocked her.

And she doesn't try it on me - but it sure as hell works on her Pappy (my husband).

That girl said...

Queen - I totally get that (just to see how far you can push). I used to do it too, but thank God that I am with someone who (is a nice guy)does not let me get away with it. Like your hubby, he'll mostly give in, but then puts me in my place when needed. I think, we need this in order to respect our nice guys more. Otherwise the woman is a primadonna and the guy just becomes a doormat.

VV - Amen to that!

Sayre - I always wondered at what point does a young woman realize that pouting works...apparantly, according to your story, quite young. Good for you for not giving in :-)

VV said...

I just tagged you for a meme. The post won't be up until July 9th. They get annoying sometimes, but I'm trying to get back to blogging more regularly, so when someone tagged me, I felt obligated to respond. Check my blog on Wednesday to see what you're supposed to do.

That girl said...

VV-what? I got tagged for a non-existent meme?! Hmpf.

Okay *she says dutyfully*... I'll check back wednesday ;-)

Leilani said...

It is interesting that you point this out. What makes it hard is dealing with men who are accustomed to being manipulated by women - mothers, sisters, sisters-in-laws, gfs, wives, lovers. Expectations also play a role in creating a stressful situation where direct communication is obscured.