Saturday, August 9, 2008

I'm doing what?!

The reason I got into blogging at first is to journal. To put pen to paper and to write. Freely, and without censorship.
I've always loved to write.
But what started off as something I wanted to do for me, somehow ended up being something I do for others.
Don't get me wrong, I love it. I love blogging. In fact, I love it so much that I forgot that it was supposed to be about me, and it became all about you, the readers.
I look for comments and rejoice in the fact that there are some, or equally I am puzzled by other posts I write that hardly get any comments at all. As mentioned, at some point or another, slowly my writing changed and instead of 'journaling' as I'd intended, I'd turned into a comment counter.
Which brings me to now:
I'm writing a book. Probably not a great book, or even a good book. But nonetheless I am writing it and it's all mine.
( Amazing, isn't it, that if you throw enough money at someone they will publish any old garbage?! )
I've compiled a bunch of short stories, mostly like a diary, from my past that I would like to remember - or at least have someone read to me as I get old - that will remind me that I lived a full life and that each chapter of that life was filled with something memorable.
Not everything in my life has turned up roses, and I'd like to remember that part as well. As I get older, I like to forget certain things I've said or done that paint me in a negative light, or that show my unflattering selfish ways, but those too, I've documented in this book.
When it is finished, I will keep it, and perhaps when my kids are grown, they will read it and maybe for the first time in their life they will see me as I was, before I became their mama.
"The night before we left on our trip, we went out to a club locally. Drunk and hot on the dance floor, I actually literally bumped into K. We both stopped in the middle of the dance and just stared. I was still mad, and tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm and escorted me outside. He wanted to talk. Reasonable as he always was, K told me how I had hurt him with my ultimatum. He said he never pictured himself with anyone else and he couldn't believe we hadn't talked in so long. He wanted to make up for lost time and hang out.I told him about my 2 week vacation coming up and he made me promise I'd call him once I got back. I promised I'd think about it.
When my gal pal and I arrived at our vacation resort, we realized we were in heaven. Hot air filled up the airport as we stepped off the plane. Smoggy hot air. No airconditioning in sight. After a long cold winter, to us, it was heaven.The taxi driver drove like a maniac all the way to our hotel. It looked much fancier in the brochure but we didn't care. It was clean and it was in a tropical place. For the next couple weeks, it'd be home.I proceeded to unpack my suitcases, but my fun loving friend persuaded me to leave them and head out on the town. A quick change out of our travelling clothes and we were ready to party. There is nothing like being young and single on vacation with a girl friend. The world is your oyster.
The first bar we went into, we sat down and met two other 'white girls' who became our bossom buddies for the night. Shooters, drinks and tequila shots flowed freely. Smoking like there's no tomorrow. Yup, this was the life.Our waiter was a very exotic looking fellow with dark curly long hair. You could tell that without the product holding it together it was unmanagably curly hair. It made me want to grab it and hold on to it. His eyes were the darkest of dark with long black eyelashes. When he smiled, he flashed perfectly white and straight pearly whites. One earing in one ear, and when he leaned in to poor the drinks I could see that he had a cross necklace through his unbuttoned shirt.
The accent and exotic look were too much for me. I asked for his name. It was G. I introduced myself, and asked the girls to take a picture of my mystery man and myself. Oddly enough it didn't scare him off. I smiled brightly and he dutyfully posed for the camera.As we were getting ready to leave I took my napkin of the table and wrote "What time do you get off?" He took the napkin (later I learned it was to get it translated, as he hardly spoke -let alone read- english)and when he returned there was "5AM" written on it.I gestured that I would come back for him at that time, and he seemed exited as well. We barhopped some more, getting back to the hotel around 3am. As my girlfriend passed out in the bed next to me, I called the front desk for a wake up call for 4:40am. I took a cab and went back to the bar where G was.
I'm sure he never expected to see me, as he seemed pleasantly surprised. I stayed until they cleaned up, and at the end of his shift, a bunch of them went out for breakfast. I joined them, my first taste of deliciously local food. As my tastebuds rejoiced, my eyes feasted only on G.I hardly knew him, but I couldn't keep my hands off him. He was only too happy to oblige, and we went back to his apartment and made love in his pool. Then we fell asleep wrapped in each others arms and I spent most of the morning taking in his scent. He was unlike any other man I had been with. He was nothing like sweet K. He was daring, exotic, mysterious and dangerous. He looked like trouble and I was hooked. That afternoon when we finally woke up, we talked for the first time. Really talked. It was rough at first as I didn't speak his language at all and he barely spoke mine. But we managed. We drew on napkins, we acted out charades and made sound effects in order to get ourselves understood. To tell you the truth, we clicked immediatly and neither one of us seemed concerned about the language issue.
We took a cab back to my hotel, where my poor roomate was frantic that I hadn't returned. Her mouth dropped when she saw me with G. Even more surprised was she when I told her I'd be taking my bags and 'storing them' at G's apartment for now. I wanted to be with him every second of this short 2 weeks and she thought I had gone mental.Of course we had the normal "how do you know he's not some psycho?" conversation, and she reminded me that he probably thought I was some easy chick from abroad looking for a fling. She told me to be careful and safe and I assured her I'd see her that evening after G went to work.
For the next 2 weeks, I hung out with my girlfriend in the evenings and partied with her, but I always found my way back to G's bar before closing time to pick him up and 'go home'. G had a motorcycle and on his days off we'd take off and explore the surroundings. It was so different being with him, there were no rules. He did what he wanted when he wanted. He and I answered only to each other. We talked about our home lives, our families and how we grew up. We noticed similarites in our upbringing and cultures that at first one may not see right away. We bonded and for the first time in my life I had met someone who, like me, thought the only thing that mattered in life was love.
All else would fall into place."
Now don't you go worrying your pretty little heads, I will still blog for comments on this blog!


Eileen said...

First of all, good for you for writing a book. I'd buy it, so at least you know one would sell.

After reading the short story posted, I see you in a different light. You were totally wild and reckless. Wow.
Believe it or not, I have never done anything like that before. I have never had that feeling of love so completely that I wanted to 'die' for that person. I know it sounds weird. I never had that with Scott, I didn't experience 'passion' that I hear about. We just got married, moved to BC.
I think you are exceptionally lucky and blessed to have found it at least once, and even more so for finding it again with JP.
Perhaps I need a vacation to a tropical paradise this winter. With my kids. That would bring the 'locals' out for romance!
Good for you for the book. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Diesel said...

Hooray for writing books!

I heard of another Blogger-user losing comments recently too. Another reason that I wrote my own commenting app....

That girl said...

Eileen - I doubt more than one, maybe two (if you and I both buy one)copies would sell.

But it is not about that for me, I just wanted to leave something behind for my kids, who probably will think they know me...yet there are so many things that I haven't shared with them about who I was before.

Diesel - you are a true author, I could never compare. Your first book was hilarious and your second one sounds pure genius... I even love the title "mercury falls". Brilliant, can't wait to read it.

Leilani said...

here's the thing - when I was first published, someone said to me, "Oh I didn't like your stories because nothing like that could ever happen." Another person sued me for character defamation.

so...good luck! Have fun.

That girl said...

Leilani - Are you trying to scare me shitless or what?

LOL...hmmmm thanks for the tip.

tweetey30 said...

So that makes 3 people M... But thanks for sharing and arent we all daring in some parts of our lives. Glad you got that part out of your system though.. Now you are happily married to a great and gorgeous man. I am not hitting on him. I have Jeffrey.. LOL..

Leilani said...

no...just expect criticism no matter what if you decide to publish your work. Writing and publishing...and selling, regretfully are all separate though connected issues. The writing is actually the "fun" most creative part. The publishing is just helps to have a good editor and a great agent - which I'm lucky to have - but even then....and these days the selling...that's long, and hard.

You just enjoy yourself regardless!

Helene said...

Sounds good. I'd read it if you ever decided to publish it. I know what you mean about wanting to write for yourself. I am one chief whinger I like to whinge it's my way to let off steam, but the people that make me whinge read my blog, so I can't whinge I can only write about the nice and happy that won't offend anyone while the steam holds up. It's ironic though because I can't write when I am in a pressure cooker state. But there I go again... whinging... I like the glimpses into your book.

luckyzmom said...

Exactly. Me too. I keep trying to share my life's experiences on my blog but get distracted by all that you talked about.

I am excited that you are doing this and wish for you, all that you hope for.

Having been to Cozumel I could easily visualize what you wrote and I look forward to you sharing more.

Anonymous said...

You go girl. I am doing the same thing. This blog got started as a way for me to try and communicate with my mom. I know she never read it but every once in awhile I would copy something and send it to her. We never got on with each other and I hated her almost as much as I loved her so I wanted to publish it ad give it to her for her 80th Birthday with the crazy hope that she would finally take a moment to see me and who I am. Sadly she died 6 weeks before her 80th and never read it. My only thought is that she still wouldn't get me anyway so maybe it is for the best.

All in all the blog has been cathartic for me and I have gained a world of friends. It seems, to me, that when one purges the rot we can start fresh without all the baggage from earlier pain.

Yeay...for Blogs and Blogland. Now if we could only get rid of all the pedophiles and con artists that roam the web our world would be a better and safer place. Dammed freaks.